@ every parent in the world: yes your kid is special because every child is special but they are not specialer than every other child so please be normal about them
Some parents have done what I can only describe as fandomize their child where they’ve taken the child and altered it in their mind to make a cooler version that fits their specific interests, and now sometimes I have to remind them of the canon material.
For those of you who don’t know, I’m a youth theater director and teacher. Every audition season is a personal ordeal.
A: well, a celebration of how strangely cursed our little corner of the internet can be. It’s also a community lead funding. Push. Tumblr costs money to run, if we want to keep our little corner of the internet it’s weird unique self, we’re going to have to foot part of the bill.
Q: when is crab day?
A: July 29th. I would have preferred a slightly longer lead time to get the word out better, But we work with what we can get and July 29th has already gotten some traction in other groups.
Q: how do I participate?
A: buy a mutual crabs, or if you’re broke, crab post crab memes.
Q: why crabs?
A: because admit it. most of us would love to get or give crabs to a mutual.
And speaking of scurvy, I am eternally amused by the thing where some ancient form of healing that was born in a time where people didn’t know exactly how the human body works, or what causes it to stop working sometimes, that still somehow worked. Like how so many old folk medicinal plants were listed as a cure for various ailments that - from a modern view - are clearly just symptoms of scurvy, and the plant itself is rich in vitamin C.
I recall reading some story, no recollection of the exact time or place, where the king of a large empire suffered from constant horrible headaches and was incapable of falling asleep unless drugged or blackout drunk. Sick of taking temporary fixes to dull the pain and having to be sedated every night, he called up some old sage healer who was said to know how to fix things nobody else could explain, and the healer heard his symptoms and went
“Hmm. You spend too much time being a king. Your skull is packed so full of kingly thoughts that they don’t all fit in there and that’s why your head is in pain. You need to spend time not being a king.” And prescribed him to schedule three days every month where he must go to a peasant village where nobody knows he’s the king, live with a family there under a fake name and identity, work in the rice fields with them, eating the same food and sleeping on the same mats. Absolutely nobody is allowed to address him as the king, speak to him of any royal or political matters, and he himself is not allowed to think any kingly thoughts or think of himself as the king.
And naturally, this worked. Taking a regular scheduled break from a highly stressful office desk job to completely decompress, paired with physical exercise in the form of hard but simple physical labour, plain and simple food and Just Not Thinking About Your Fucking Job All The Time does help chronic stress, which here was worded as “spending too much time being a king clogs your brain.”
Sometimes you do have ghosts in your blood, though I’m not entirely sure whether you should do cocaine about it.
One thing about the WGA Strike is that Onion article was kinda right. Hollywood shot themselves in the foot with their current standard of cancelling every show people like to produce more and more short-term novelty.
It’s not like we have tons of shows ending on cliffhangers waiting for season six anymore. Due to their greed, they’ve personally taken long-term viewer investment outside and shot it and now they can’t count on it for negotiating power. What are viewers going to be mad about missing out on? The Twilight reboot? Another Star Wars spin-off? Several promising pilot seasons on Netflix with great representation that were already produced and cancelled before they aired and would’ve been even if the strike hadn’t happened?
Every show I grew up loving was cancelled before the writers or fans wanted it to be and that was when a single “season” was an entire year’s worth of weekly episodes, something that really felt like a big part of people’s lives for a reasonable length of time. Now the standard is a “season” of 12 episodes dumped all on streaming one night when you aren’t looking. Everyone binges it and the enthusiasm lasts about a week or two before there’s nothing left to talk about.
Like a fruit fly. Fruit fly fandoms. The show and hype live for around ten days before they die.
I fell into an elevator shaft that also served as a trash disposal and that I started being crushed by it while simultaneously falling deeper and deeper inside and the walls kept closing in on me and then I remembered that I could stretch myself like a chewing gum and I just stretched myself to the top, got out and went to the store to buy doughnuts.
